Why men lack self care and how you can help the dad in your life
Societal Pressures
Society puts a lot of pressure on men and women in different ways. Traditional gender roles like men being the provider or breadwinner have been an old school norm. While more women are now in the workforce than ever before, men still fall into other traditional norms.
The Need to Appear Masculine
The need to be more masculine may prevent him from seeking help. Masculinity is associated with dominance, being territorial, being the provider, and having a lot of strength. To avoid appearing “weak,” some men feel the need to abide to societal norms and step away from doing what is thought as more feminine like “taking care of one-self.” These are definitely gender stereotypes. Research in psychology has tried to rectify gender stereotypes. However, it may take a while before we see changes. That is why, it is important for us to be aware of our gender counterparts.
Common masculinity struggles
Men may find it difficult to recognise and communicate symptoms of depression.
Men prefer collaborative interventions involving action-oriented problem solving.
Masculine norms like stoicism conflict with depression, heightening self-stigma.
Masculine norms may inhibit help-seeking and reinforce maladaptive coping styles.
Reframing a more fluid masculinity to integrate depression may boost help-seeking.
Source: Seidler ZE, Dawes AJ, Rice SM, Oliffe JL, Dhillon HM. The role of masculinity in men's help-seeking for depression: A systematic review. Clin Psychol Rev. 2016;49:106-118. doi:10.1016/j.cpr.2016.09.002
From the same source, I learned that women are more likely than men to seek self-care and therapy. While more women suffer from depression than men, men suffering from depression are 3 times more likely to commit suicide, (Sedler, 2016). This stat suggests the urgency for us to care for our men, a little more!
So, how can you help the men in your life?
Provide him a safe place to be himself, free of judgment.
Appreciate it when he is vulnerable
Take him to self-care work like getting acupuncture, massage, facials, his nails done
Just showing up and being there will also do
There is no perfect solution to how we can help the men in our lives to be more open to self care. However, surveys have shown that self care does improve productivity and happiness in those who engage in it!
There are many options in self care, but since you are here, why not try acupuncture?
From a 2018 Research Review: Acupuncture & Depression
Acupuncture may result in a moderate reduction in the severity of depression when compared with treatment as usual/no treatment. Use of acupuncture may lead to a small reduction in the severity of depression when compared with control acupuncture. Effects of acupuncture versus medication and psychological therapy are uncertain owing to the very low quality of evidence. Risks of adverse events with acupuncture are also unclear, as most trials have not reported on adverse events.
Source: Smith CA, Armour M, Lee MS, Wang LQ, Hay PJ. Acupuncture for depression. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews 2018, Issue 3. Art. No.: CD004046. DOI: 10.1002/14651858.CD004046.pub4.
